my career moves ahead

I received a call from an HR woman a few days ago who was interested in my resume. The position I had applied for was for an "Accounting Assistant", and I knew I was overqualified for the job. However, I thought that if I lowered the bar a little, I wouldn't have to deal with as much corporate B.S.


The HR lady told me that she was excited about meeting me, but that I would have to do a few "assessment tests" and fill out their online application before we got the process started. I logged in to their system later that day and took three VERY elementary level cognitive and mathematical tests. Each of the three tests had 50 questions, and though they were very easy, it took me about half an hour to get through it all.

After submitting the tests, I received an automated error message stating that I there had been a problem processing the tests, and I needed to take them again. So I did. I received the error again. I decided that their system was down, so I would go ahead and fill out their online application while waiting for their server problems to be resolved. The application astounded me. In case you don't believe me, I included a screen copy of one of their selected questions.

Does anyone understand why I reject corporate America now?

the dove

When I was just a little girl, my sister and I were out riding our Big Wheels on a beautiful, fall afternoon. I remember crying out to my sister, "Stop!" when I realized she was about to run over a wounded dove that was near the curb.


Using only my bare hands, I gently grasped the injured creature and carried it home. My sister called to my mother to come help. Within hours, we had an elaborate "bird-care system" consisting of a box, warm water balloons, dishes of water, and Vienna Sausages. (Yes, doves love Vienna Sausages!")

After a week or two of tender care, my mother actually managed to save this bird. I think it had a broken wing, but we will never be sure. Regardless, I remember my mom turning it loose and encouraging my sister and I to watch it fly away. Our young eyes followed its tentative flight...first, from box to garage step; then, from step to our fence. It seemed to hesitate for ages before it finally flew out of sight and off into the horizon.

My sister and I have always retained the memory of "the dove", but its memory was fully resurrected this afternoon. I was preparing to take my dog to the vet by bringing towels, my purse, etc. to the car when I noticed a dove at the end of my driveway. It was almost collapsed, with legs drawn up underneath its torso and beak touching the concrete. Corbin was with me, and shouted "bird!" enthusiastically as I tried to move him back towards the house.

Once I was inside, I remembered "the dove". Though I knew I was about to be late for my appointment, I scrounged around and found a box. I busted open a can of Vienna sausages. I even lined the box with shredded paper and filled a small tray with water before grabbing Corbin's hand and venturing out to find the injured bird.

The bird was still there. My heart raced with excitement...Once again, the warm, familiar feelings of child-like compassion flooded me, and I realized I was going to be late for a good reason. I drew closer to the bird, with Corbin close by my side, and reached out to touch it.

It flew away.

health care

I am always reluctant to discuss politics. While I am extremely interested in politics and do lots of personal research, my opinion has always been that the majority of people (myself included) do not seem to know what they are talking about when they begin their arguments. The issue of healthcare, however, seems pretty obvious.

According to the World Health Organization, the U.S. currently ranks in at #37 in healthcare. We rank below Oman, Morocco, Canada (gasp!), Chile, and Costa Rica. Guess who is number one? FRANCE! That is right! The socialized, liberal, majority non-Christian country called France is #1 in healthcare! While I know that the U.S. loves to hate on France for reasons I do not even want to discuss, we should really sit back and think about this.

As of Nov. 2006, 83% of Americans were dissatisfied with the total costs associated with our healthcare system. I believe this number has reduced drastically since Obama has been elected, though I am having a hard time getting specific statistics. However, if you were to slide over to Fox News and read the opinions section, you will hear people saying things like "We don't need a BOY doing a man's job when it comes to healthcare reform!" These are, of course, the same people who call themselves loving, forgiving Christians.

But I digress. The only point that I want to make is that there is something very sick about having a for-profit healthcare system. Insurance companies have analysts on staff whose primary jobs are to find ways to exclude people from being covered. Healthcare costs are skyrocketing. There has got to be a better way! I know change is scary, but we cannot let our fear get in the way of progress.

intolerance

I realize I have been posting more and more about religion lately, but there is a reason for this. As I become more confident in my non-theistic nature, more people try to “convert me” from my sinful, wicked ways.

I recently lost a friend of over 15 years because I would not “convert”. After asking me repeatedly to repent and “find Jesus”, he finally sent me a “Dear John” letter of sorts, explaining that he could no longer be my friend unless I change my “wicked ways”. I responded crisply that I don’t do drugs, am not an alcoholic, live in a house just as nice (probably nicer) than his, am happily married, and have the exact same education from the same college he does. To this, he had no response. I am sure he just read the email, shook his head sadly, and muttered to himself, “I hope God forgives her.”

I have always been a skeptic, but I grow weary of people trying to convince me that this is a bad thing. I believe that one of the most powerful gifts humans have is the ability to question everything and seek out a valid, logical conclusion to any questions that may arise. Religion has repeatedly failed my logic test, though I gave it many chances.

When I was a child, I would often get into arguments with my mother. When she finally grew exasperated when I kept asking her why she wanted me to do something, he curt response would be “because I told you to.” This is called circular reasoning. The definition of circular reasoning (or a circular argument) is “An argument that commits the logical fallacy of assuming what it is attempting to prove. “ Instead of offering evidence, such an argument simply asserts its conclusion in another form, hoping to invite the arguer to assume the argument is settled when, in fact, it isn’t. Below are some examples of circular arguments I have been forced to endure while discussing Christianity:

1) Question: “How can we be confident that the Bible is the true word of god, and that Christianity is the only true religion?” Answer: “Because God delivered the message, and God is a good and perfect God who would never lie or mislead.”

2) Question: “How can I have faith in something that presents no further evidence than a dusty book that contradicts itself at every turn and presents truths that have been solidly disproven by science?” Answer: “Questioning God represents a lack of faith, which will lead to an eternity of suffering in the fiery pits of hell.”

3) Question: “The Bible asserts that the earth is both flat and only 6,000 years old, though science has clearly asserted otherwise. How to you rectify this?” Answer: “Our God is a truthful God, and would never lie. Science is wrong.”

4) Question: “The Bible states that God is perfect and incapable of error, but in Genesis, he makes it clear that he realizes Adam is lonely after the fact, and corrects his mistake by creating Eve. Also, he claims that he is sorry for creating humans in the first place when he kills them all during the Great Flood. How do you reconcile this?” Answer: “We cannot always explain the ways of God, but God is a perfect and infallible God.”

5) Question: “Christianity seeks to convince that anyone who does not have god in his or her life is empty and lonely. I am not empty and lonely. Why is that?” Answer: “You will never find peace without God.” (But I just SAID I am at peace with my life!)

6) Question: “Whenever I have a problem, Christianity dictates that I should turn to god to have my problems resolved. Yet, everyday, children of good Christian parents are raped and killed on the streets. How can I trust god knowing this?’ Answer: “We can never truly understand the ways of God…we must just have faith.”

Though I listed #6 as an example of circular reasoning, Christians do have a point about one thing. I noticed that both of the people who interviewed me last week had crosses around their necks. They also publicly expressed their dismay for anyone who is not Christian on their Facebook pages. (I got bored and looked them up after my interview.) If I had worn a cross around my neck to the interview and had mentioned having unquestionable faith, I am sure that “God” would have granted me that WONDERFUL job instead of letting those fine folks send me a crappy rejection letter. So, Christians, you got me there!

Favorite Quotes:

“He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord. A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord. “ ~Deuteronomy 23:1

“Suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.” ~1 Timothy 2:12-15

“When the Lord your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations . . . then you must destroy them totally. Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy.” ~ Deuteronomy 7:1-2

“Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up." ~Hosea 13:16 (What do all the anti-abortion peeps think about this one?)

drug testing

I interviewed for a job today. I should feel pretty excited, considering this is the first job prospect I have had since I was laid off almost six months ago. The people who interviewed me seemed nice, honest, and…exhausted. I tried not to cringe when they mentioned that they had been forced to take a pay cuts along with being subjected to corporate furloughs. I am sure that the other employees are wondering “how can they afford to bring in new staff if they can’t pay us to work all of this overtime?” Alas, ‘tis the American way.

Speaking of another great American tradition, this company also engages in drug testing. Drug testing has always been a sore subject with me. Do I take illegal drugs? No. Do I take prescribed drugs that will show up as questionable medications on the drug panels? Yes.

Those who know me and my family also know that I have a long history with depression and anxiety disorders. Two immediate relatives have committed suicide in my lifetime…blame it on genetics. I know that when the benzos show up on the drug test, all I have to do is bring in the prescription bottle and explain why I take it. However, I don’t WANT to explain why I take it. It is embarrassing. It is PRIVATE. I am essentially apologizing for my problems, and I don’t want to feel that way. I want to start my career on the same footing as everyone else, because that should be the “American Way”.

I have also heard rumors that some companies sneak in a pregnancy test as well. I guess they may find some lingering HCG hormones from my recent miscarriage. I guess there are no secrets these days, are there?

Regardless, wish me luck on my possible new career. I may sound pessimistic, but I am really a golden ray of fucking sunshine on the inside.

The Almighty Wind

I have been doing lots of thinking about my relationship with religion, and I feel very delighted that I have managed a clean divorce from all things spiritual. I even Googled "God" and "Asshole" the other day, curious to see if God's almighty rampages led others to believe that he may not be the loving force everyone envisions him to be.

I ran across a site that begs the question, "If God really was created in man's image, does that mean God has an asshole? If so, what would its function be?"

I posted the below response.

Recently, a new generation of Biblical literature was discovered in the Middle East that easily rectifies any confusion about God's asshole, evolution, etc. The name of these scriptures is The Hyphocretes.

The Hyphocretes clarifies that the earth was created in 10 days, not seven.

"On the 8th day, God observed that he had only created one man and one woman, and they were lonely. For them to be fruitful and multiply, a more genetically diverse population would be required. Therefore, God tooketh a huge dump, and from his dump came forth Jadyn and Eva.

On the 9th day, God realized that Adam, Eve, Jadyn, and Eva were lonely, and all was not good. As an almighty deity who could never make mistakes, God was forced to act quickly. Therefore, from the anus of God came forth an Almighty Wind, and so were born Adam and Steve.

On the 10th day, God realized that Adam and Steve were drawneth to each other, and would not be fruitful and multiply. God sighed, looked the other way, and said 'I am going to take a nap'".

Fear Feb 24, 2009

Today...not a good day...

I let fear overcome me today. My life has been built on a solid platform of fear, and I need to figure out how to bust it all down. But to do so would require higher expectations out of life than I am willing to grant...life. I know this sounds nonsensical and depressing. Oh well.

Something scared me. This something led me to interrupt my normal working day and rush home. I might now be convinced now that there is something more to life than what I have ever believed; because my fear was focused on the wrong thing...One of my dogs had her leg mauled and would have died had I not showed up when I did. I don't want to elaborate because it is too terrible.

There goes my tax refund, but my family (human and 4-legged) is somewhat intact. Thank whatever for that.

My vet (and family friend) spoke of fear today. He basically said that all bad behavior (human and animal) stems from fear. It made me think of that Donnie Darko movie and the “Lifeline of Fear” or whatever. Even though it is laughable, maybe there is some relevance behind it? Maybe not. I am still scared.